I finally got it. I finally understand why the Missus would get frustrated when she would feed Action. That kid is a savage, no manners whatsoever. Then again, at just 2 years old, I shouldn’t expect Action to be drinking tea with her pinky out, should I?
We were relaxing in the living room watching TV (American Ninja Warrior I believe.) Action is off in the corner playing by herself. A beautiful thing that is. I’m munching on a sandwich I made during the break. Apparently, the Boss saw me eating and wanted in on that action (no pun intended.) Action stops what’s she’s doing gets up and walks over to me. “Oh, hey baby, whatcha doing? I asked her. Without saying a word, she rudely pushes herself all up under my arms opens her mouth and says “AAAH!” “Hmph, savage. I wonder who your parents are” I mutter under my breath. What the heck. We’ve learned quickly that if Action actually wants to eat something, we feed it to her.
Normally, Action is a picky eater; she’ll barely nibble on what you feed her. Other times when she’s having a growth spurt she’s like a bottomless pit. I knew Action was going through a growth spurt, and she like tuna fish, so I know she wasn’t leaving until she got what she came for. I hold up my sandwich, expecting action to take one her usual small bites. Maaan, this kid damn-near unhinged her jaw and jumped on my food like
“Hey, Hey! HEY!” I shouted, snatching my sandwich from Action before she devoured it all. “Get your own dang sandwich!” I put Action on my lap and my sandwich back on my plate and went back to watching TV. Pretty soon, I was immersed in American Ninja Warrior and not paying Action any mind, which was a big mistake.
Out of the corner of my eye, I start to see my sandwich wiggle back and forth on my plate. I thought it was because I was shaking my leg, so I ignored it. The next thing I know, my sandwich is really sliding around on my plate. I looked up and saw Action trying to Debo my sandwich!
“Hey!” I shouted. Action realizing the jig was up, made her move. In one fluid motion, she snatched my sandwich off the plate like
Totally taken aback by this bold move, I try to get my sandwich back. Now, you would think that I, being the adult, and Action being the child, it would be a simple matter to just get my sandwich away from her, right?
Just like that time Action and I had rumble on the couch at her Aunt Jazz’s house, that kid is truly gifted when it comes to keeping stuff away from me that she doesn’t want me to have.
The Missus, having gone through this scene with Action multiple times, is on the floor, laughing her butt off. I’m not getting any help from the Peanut Gallery tonight.
I finally pinned the kids arms down and snatched my sammich back. Dangit, Action ate so much of it that I had to go back to the kitchen and make another sandwich. I will admit though, as annoyed as I was at that kid, its moments like that fill me with fatherly pride.
As much as I’m loathe to admit it, I can’t wait to see what other slapstick adventures this kid is gonna get me into.